7 Feet Tall and Gay ? No Way !

Jason Collins can’t be gay.  I say that because I know gay.   After all, some of my closest friends are gay.   So what do you think of that!

I know gay from a lifetime of gay stereotypes that have been engrained in my psyche over the past 40 years.   I envisioned the first openly gay basketball player to be white, not black.  And the first gay basketball player certainly was not going to be a 7 foot center.   No sir, my first gay basketball player was going to be a Caucasian point guard, no more than 6 foot 2.  He was going to be a very unselfish player…, polite even.  Someone who passed the ball to his teammates as opposed to driving to the basket on his own.  My first gay basketball player was going to be an ex NY Knick, certainly not an ex NJ Net.  After all, everyone knows New Yorkers are more cosmopolitan than their Jersey counterparts.  My first gay basketball player would have long hair, kind of like Steve Nash did a few years back when he played for The Suns.

So along comes Jason Collins who has totally burst my gay basketball bubble.  With all due respect, you are not what I was expecting,  Jason Collins.  Your height, your position, your skin color… you got it all wrong.  You are messing with my perception of what a gay athlete should be, and for that, all I have to say is “thank you.” 

Thank you, Jason Collins. I am glad it was you who broke the barrier that took too long to be broken.  I admire your courage.  I admire that you are not a point guard.  I admire that you are tackling more stereotypes than you imagined would be the case by coming out.  I am glad that people will get to know you better.   I am glad that you will be contributing to the discussions on civil rights and gay marriage and whether anyone really has a chance against the Miami Heat.

We have become better today as a result of your move to the basket, Jason Collins.  Congratulations to you.  Congratulations to us all.

THE ART, SCIENCE, AND WISDOM OF SHARING

Adam’s credentials were impressive.  A junior at Brandeis.   Fluent in French, Spanish and Hebrew.  His Italian, rapidly improving thanks to his spring semester at The University of Milan.  The distance was the reason for our interview being conducted via Skype. I had previously helped Adam’s sister land a job with one of my ad agencies and I was now helping him in his efforts to secure an internship with a translation company.    

“Is there anything else you need to know about me?” Adam asked as our video chat was coming to a close.  “Just one thing,” I said, ready to impart a painful lesson.  “In your Facebook status from 3 weeks ago, you mentioned that you defeated one Eric T in a tennis match and as a result, he was now gargling with your balls.  I’m just a tad curious. Is ball-gargling a pleasant experience or a painful one?  I would think it could be quite painful."

Adam’s youthful confidence quickly shattered into pathetic despair as his mouth opened but words eluded him.  “Here’s what I think you need do” I mercifully chimed in to break the embarrassing silence. “I think you need to grow up.  And if that doesn’t seem to be a realistic option at this stage of your life, I think the very least you should do is adjust the privacy settings on all your social media sites to keep your adventures between you and your friends.”  Adam’s hands were awkwardly covering his mouth to conceal the extent of his quivering. “And one more thing,” I added as he struggled to avoid further eye contact with me. “Call me on Tuesday.  I think I may have a company in mind for you.”      

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Not so lucky is Rebecca Martinson, the Delta Gamma sorority member from The University of Maryland who has recently become the rage of the web thanks to her foul-mouthed email rant going viral.  Her correspondence attacks fellow Delta Gammas for essentially failing to properly “engage” during a recent social event with a brother fraternity.  It uses homophobic, racist and utterly foul language that would make most sailors blush.  It also threatens violence against those sorority members who don’t get their acts together.  

It’s been an eventful couple of weeks for young Ms. Martinson as she has disproven P.T. Barnum’s adage that there is no such thing as bad publicity.  Dozens of pages now appear when you search Rebecca’s name on Google.  She has resigned her position at Delta Gamma where a national spokesperson announced, “We now consider this matter to be closed.”   Maybe for Delta Gamma, it is but the Internet has posted a virtual scarlet letter on Rebecca in the form of fiercely negative commentary and video parodies of her rude behavior.  Unless she does something radical like change her identity, I would say her future prospects appear to be quite dim.  (On a side note, when you finish reading this blog, Google her name along with actor Michael Shannon’s to get a glimpse of what her new found celebrity has resulted in).

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This past Thursday, I had the pleasure of attending The Media Kitchen’s 6^th Annual Digital Media Venture Capital Conference (gotta talk to them about shortening the name).  It’s an exciting day featuring some of the hottest marketing trends in the digital space as well as those technologies that are the driving forces behind tomorrow’s innovation.  

Are you aware that if you mention to your on-line community that you recently bought a pair of Ferragamo shoes, that the technology now exists to identify you several weeks later as you walk by a Soho boutique and target you via your mobile device with a special offer to buy a matching wallet?

As a marketer, I am blown away by the precision methods that are now available to target our best prospects at the best time.  As a consumer however, I have to admit to a serious case of the heebie-jeebies in knowing that a seemingly private post between friends is being used to follow me, identify me, and target me at a specific point in my day.  Granted, it’s only a discount offer for a wallet, but it only takes a little bit of imagination to figure out where this can all lead and how even George Orwell would be blown away by all that has transpired in recent years.

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Three stories.  All tied together by a common theme.  What you choose to share on line, no matter how harmless or how vulgar now lives forever and can often come back to find you in ways that you never imagined possible.  The technology is mind-boggling and exciting.  I’m just thankful that it wasn’t around when I was a kid. 

Oh yeah, good luck, Rebecca.         

Raising Them Right --LET'S GO METS

      

Given all the articles and afternoon talk shows dedicated to the topic of raising ethical and well-adjusted children, it continues to amaze me how many parents error on a critical first step that will shape their child’s development.  When faced with the decision of steering their kids towards a lifetime of rooting for the Mets or the Yankees, most parents continue to choose the Bronx Bombers, thus setting the training wheels in motion for a lifetime of frustration, unrealized expectations and an inability to celebrate the small achievements in their lives. 

Since I am sure no one will be offended by my previous statements, I will provide irrefutable support for my opinions.  Ever since the dawning of the George Steinbrenner era, Yankee fans have been characterized by a sense of entitlement that accepts nothing short of a world championship.  A team of all-stars at every position has become the norm with the best players being lured into pinstripes at prices that no other team could match.  And when one of these all-stars became injured for more than two weeks, he was immediately replaced by another high priced all-star from a team that could no longer afford him.  While George’s son, Hal has taken a more conservative approach to spending, today’s Yankee fans have become more impatient and irrational in their expectations.  Many are unhappy and even depressed despite what is viewed as a very good, if not championship caliber team.

Met fans on the other hand are a grateful and appreciative lot.  We enter each season with the lowest of expectations.  For years, there has been no serious hope of making the post season so we endure and even thrive by learning to celebrate the smallest achievements that come our way.  The impressive debut of a minor league pitching prospect, the slumping batter who finally gets a hit after going 0 for 23, the joy of a three game winning streak…all are relished and fawned upon as signs of a better tomorrow.  We may not have experienced a World Championship in 27 years, but we have acquired an enviable resilience that helps us look forward to brighter horizons while accepting the fact that the best things in life aren’t always destined for our doorstep.  We have learned to smile at our own faults and more than most, we have learned how to be content.  Last year when our team was in contention through the all-star break before falling apart at the seams, Met fans appreciated that our team was able to last so long.  Yankee fans on the other hand would have been calling for heads to be served up based on the second half meltdown.

So parents, especially Yankee fans yourselves, can you do what’s best for your children and do what your parents neglected to do for you?  Guide your children towards Queens and the Mets.  Every parent wants to see their children succeed in a way they never did.  Choosing the orange and blue is a step in the right direction and one of the most selfless acts you will ever do.  And if you need help in justifying your decision, I have summarized the reasons why young Met fans are destined to grow up to be happier and better adjusted adults with a set of values that parents relish.

10 REASONS WHY THE ROAD TO A HAPPIER CHILD BEGINS IN FLUSHING

1.      Met children don’t expect Dad to fix every problem by throwing money at it.

2.      Met children know how to appreciate what they have.

3.      Met children have a sunny disposition and are always looking forward to tomorrow (kind of like Annie).

4.      Met children have empathy and compassion for the underdog.

5.      Met children are content with their lives.

6.      Met children learn how to be fun and spontaneous (You can’t wake up one day and say let’s go to a Yankee game.  Met children and their dads can wait until the last minute and still get pretty good seats).

7.      Met children are never boastful.

8.      Met children do not feel entitled to the best money can buy.

9.      Met children accept themselves for who they are.

10.  Met children (and their fathers) learn not to take themselves too seriously    8-)            

 

Cool Daddies in a Red Cup Nation

Tall red plastic cups were lined up in big triangles on each side of the ping pong table.  Within minutes of the photo being taken, most would no doubt be filled to the top with foam. The accompanying Facebook post from my friend read, “Father/son weekend at ΣΑΜ fraternity... what could be better?”

A mere two hours later, over 40 endorsements were received through the “LIKE” button.  Comments ranging from “show them how it’s done” to “teach them a lesson” offered greater encouragement. 

Then one buzz killer wrote, “What could be better?...How about not supporting, publicizing, and participating in underage drunkardness?”

Within a few minutes, my friend texted me.  “Could you please remove your comment?” he asked.  I responded promptly, “Could you please remove yours?”   Now, I’m not exactly certain of all the rules pertaining to Facebook etiquette.  However since I did indeed post on his “property” and he is basically a good guy, I took down the offending remark.

I also decided that now was the right time to begin writing a blog, something that I had been considering for the last few months.  The reason for my delay was an uncertainty about what topics I would cover.  Yesterday, I realized that a defined list of topics was not as important as the passion behind them.  And since it’s my blog, I hope no one will expect me to remove any of my offensive comments.  And for what it’s worth, I won’t ask you to remove yours either.  

But back to my friend.  I did email him last night to tell him that it was not my intention to upset him.  I simply explained that I had a big problem with this red cup generation that boasts to an expanding social media audience of their excess drinking and raunchy behaviors.  I explained that I had an even bigger problem with parental “atta boys” that encourage such behavior.

And I have my biggest problem with beautiful teenage girls who have taken their own lives following date rapes and party rapes, with photographic evidence of the assaults being posted on social media to the point where they literally humiliate their victims to death.  I did some research and learned that at least 70% of sexual crimes on campus are associated with excess alcohol consumption by the perpetrator.  And around 50% of the victims had been drinking as well.  And the last time I checked, the legal drinking age in this country was still 21.  And the last time I checked, Lauren Spierer a New York girl attending Indiana University was still missing after a night of hard partying. And the last time I checked, my kids still referred to me as "Dad" and not "Buddy."

Far too many of my contemporaries struggle to appear cool in front of their children.  Too many of them endorse and encourage under-age drinking and rowdiness while ignoring the consequences that can often result.  And too many of these manly fathers have daughters of their own.  If you want to be cool, join me and others your own age for Thursday evening hoops at the Y and a couple of beers at The Greenhouse afterwards.  If you want to be cooler, explain the dangers associated with underage drinking and partying to your children.  Talk to them about sexual abuse. Talk to them about Lauren Spierer and not leaving your friends alone and defenseless when they've had too much to drink at a bar or a frat party.  You might not get 40 “LIKES” tonight, but in due time you’ll get a thumbs up from your kids when they realize what you did for them.